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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Problem
Suitable
Solved
Application
Problems
Personal
Wisdom
High
Cannot
Explosives

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Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.
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The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
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E-books are impervious to analogy.
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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
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I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
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In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.
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Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?
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Everyone, including skeptics, will generate delusions that match their views. That is how a normal and healthy brain works. Skeptics are not exempt from self-delusion.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.
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