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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Scott Adams

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Scott Adams
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 8
Blogger
Comic Strip Creator
Comics Artist
Economist
Engineer
Journalist
Writer
Windham
New York
Scott Raymond Adams
Nothing
Like
Inspires
Revenge
Criminals
Forgiveness
Forgiving
Inspire
Quite

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When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
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I believe in karma... that means i can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it.
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Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click.
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I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
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Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.
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Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay).
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.
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When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
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Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
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He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
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Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
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I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
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Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
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