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If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.

Sarah Silverman

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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Freaked
Weeks
Week
Stand
Two

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I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There's no place to hide my balls.
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I was sent to sleepover camp since I was 6, and you know, it's a recipe for disaster.
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I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love.
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I have lows, you know, everybody does ... but I kind of know how to handle it. I like to let myself wallow in it. I enforce it with terribly sad music, and it kind of pushes me through to the other side eventually, and I always know it's going to pass.
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I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
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Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.
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I've never had an abortion. And I don't know if I would. But, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't fight to the death for women to make their own choices for their own human bodies.
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I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.
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It's just hard to say, Well, I do this, which means this. If I'm telling you exactly who I am, then there's nothing for the audience to say.
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I'm so glad Courtney Love is here I left my crack in my other purse.
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Sometimes I am screwing around, and sometimes I get way too serious, but I am a pretty sincere person.
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I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
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I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.
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I mean, I love being with friends and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices.
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We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
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A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it. That said, critiquing women's human shells isn't my thang. Though there's probably something funny or interesting to be said about those who do it, and what that comes from.
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I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show.
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Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of offensive. Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?
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If you quit being cunty, the whole world will stop being against you.
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