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I talk to friends who get their feelings hurt when they read Twitter mentions. I have an amazing solution - don't read Twitter mentions.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
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Twitter
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More quotes by Sarah Silverman
I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.
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A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess.
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I'm so glad Courtney Love is here I left my crack in my other purse.
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Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of offensive. Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?
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I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love.
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I'm personally not into a guy who wears pedal pushers and a necklace.
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Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.
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Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.
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The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
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Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.
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I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.
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Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.
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I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
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I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
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I just don't let that mentality be a part of my world.
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I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There's no place to hide my balls.
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We deserve quality lives with equality.
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I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.
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Letting your freak flag fly is something, no matter who you are, that takes great bravery, straight up.
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Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.
Sarah Silverman
