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I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Humiliating
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
You have to take the chance to bomb and disappoint audiences.
Sarah Silverman
I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.
Sarah Silverman
The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.
Sarah Silverman
Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.
Sarah Silverman
I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There's no place to hide my balls.
Sarah Silverman
I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.
Sarah Silverman
Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'
Sarah Silverman
If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy.
Sarah Silverman
We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
Sarah Silverman
I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much.
Sarah Silverman
I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
Sarah Silverman
I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It's too subjective. It's for other people to defend or not defend.
Sarah Silverman
People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.
Sarah Silverman
It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.
Sarah Silverman
Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies.
Sarah Silverman
When I was 17, I read a profile of Carol Leifer. Since then, I wanted to be her. I still want to be her.
Sarah Silverman
I'm personally not into a guy who wears pedal pushers and a necklace.
Sarah Silverman
I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.
Sarah Silverman
If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.
Sarah Silverman
I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by that's one freedom I have.
Sarah Silverman