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The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Smart
News
Doesn
Mean
Good
Hopeful
Cynical
Dumb
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.
Sarah Silverman
I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.
Sarah Silverman
Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.
Sarah Silverman
I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.
Sarah Silverman
Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!
Sarah Silverman
I have lows, you know, everybody does ... but I kind of know how to handle it. I like to let myself wallow in it. I enforce it with terribly sad music, and it kind of pushes me through to the other side eventually, and I always know it's going to pass.
Sarah Silverman
Anything television trivia I'm good at. But when you're on your couch, you're really good at it, but when you're standing there, it's probably scary.
Sarah Silverman
My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, She's married to so and so!
Sarah Silverman
I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, I want pussy! Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!
Sarah Silverman
Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.
Sarah Silverman
I think Jews tend to hold me in fairly high regard.
Sarah Silverman
I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.
Sarah Silverman
Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it. That said, critiquing women's human shells isn't my thang. Though there's probably something funny or interesting to be said about those who do it, and what that comes from.
Sarah Silverman
A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess.
Sarah Silverman
If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.
Sarah Silverman
I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.
Sarah Silverman
I'm always in those tabloids where they show who's badly dressed. It's funny, because each time I'm getting my picture taken, I'm thinking, This is a nice outfit.
Sarah Silverman
I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror.
Sarah Silverman
You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.
Sarah Silverman
We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
Sarah Silverman
