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Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.

Sarah Silverman

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Sarah Silverman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Liberty
Water
Statue
Jesus
Statues
Funny
Disappear
Made
Turned
Something
Wine
Think
Magic
Thinking
Humor

More quotes by Sarah Silverman

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It's funny how people will think I'm being sarcastic a lot and joking. So I'll say, I like your dress, and they'll go (bleep) you! Or I say something serious and they go, Oh, yeah, ha-ha. They're strangers. They're people who know me from comedy, but luckily I am on pretty much all the time!
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Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.
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If you decide to do comedy that involves risk, risk means risk, and you can't complain of flesh wounds if you sit down at the table to play.
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People who like what I do come in all shapes and sizes. Not sure what the common denominator is per se. Oh, it's meeee! But to be embraced by a progressive community means something to me and this one feels like home.
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By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.
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It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.
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Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.
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I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me.
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I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show.
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Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.
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There are so many great comedies, right now. I like how comedies are really mixing. They're not just one thing. It can be very moving and dramatic, and yet hilarious.
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I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white.
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I'm lucky because I intentionally keep my overhead low, and so I can say, No, thank you.
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I am Jewish and proud of this culturally and ethnically - the ways in which I was born this way and am happy with whom I am.
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People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.
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We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
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Letting your freak flag fly is something, no matter who you are, that takes great bravery, straight up.
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I dress normal because I want people to treat me regular. And their brains explode. It's really fun.
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Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
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Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies.
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