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If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Time
Boyfriend
Guarantee
Breasts
Guarantees
Clean
Step
Sparkling
Steps
Shower
Take
Showers
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!
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If I were somebody else looking at my character, I'd be like, She's beautiful. I'm practicing. I'm not succeeding.
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I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white.
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I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.
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I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love.
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Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.
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I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls the real way.
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I don't compromise. I only do the stuff I want to do.
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My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, She's married to so and so!
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I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much.
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Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.
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I'd love to do drama if it was interesting.
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I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, I want pussy! Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!
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If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.
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I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.
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I am Jewish and proud of this culturally and ethnically - the ways in which I was born this way and am happy with whom I am.
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Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they're the cultures of the people who have been the most oppressed, black people and Jews. Not that they're the only funny people, but culturally, it comes from the pain, you know?
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I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black.
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We deserve quality lives with equality.
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Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.
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