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If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Clean
Step
Sparkling
Steps
Shower
Take
Showers
Time
Boyfriend
Guarantee
Breasts
Guarantees
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.
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I really think everything is fair game.
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It's just hard to say, Well, I do this, which means this. If I'm telling you exactly who I am, then there's nothing for the audience to say.
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It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
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Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.
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A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.
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I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror.
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If you quit being cunty, the whole world will stop being against you.
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What makes Disney movies and Pixar movies always so good, hey take time and they're constantly honing, and tweaking, and rejiggering things, and taking influences from every cog, including myself, that can help. Any place where there can be inspiration. They make every moment very layered and very rich.
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You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.
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I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.
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If I have to write by a certain time, I can pull through, but usually I just let stuff happen, hanging out with comic friends - or bringing a basic idea on stage and seeing if it goes anywhere.
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Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.
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We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
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If I have kids, I'll adopt.
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Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.
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I know how to write. So I am not totally at the mercy of filmmakers, but it's not a bad point.
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I have lows, you know, everybody does ... but I kind of know how to handle it. I like to let myself wallow in it. I enforce it with terribly sad music, and it kind of pushes me through to the other side eventually, and I always know it's going to pass.
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I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.
Sarah Silverman
