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If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Guarantees
Clean
Step
Sparkling
Steps
Shower
Take
Showers
Time
Boyfriend
Guarantee
Breasts
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
They've got great parents I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.
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I mean, I love being with friends and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices.
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You want the actors to disappear into roles and stay under the radar, and that gets harder when someone is known for their actual personality, or who they seem to be.
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Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
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This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.
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I’ve always had dreams. When I was little, I’d go to sleep with my head on my hands, which were in fists like I was looking through a camera. I felt like sleep was the movies - just drifting off to the movies.
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I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece.
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I think Jews tend to hold me in fairly high regard.
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I dress normal because I want people to treat me regular. And their brains explode. It's really fun.
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We deserve quality lives with equality.
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Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.
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Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!
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I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be in that very, very dark place. It’s not romantic. Not even a little.
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Sometimes I am screwing around, and sometimes I get way too serious, but I am a pretty sincere person.
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Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.
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I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
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Being with friends felt like a burden. I remember just sobbing.
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I'm so glad Courtney Love is here I left my crack in my other purse.
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I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me.
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I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls the real way.
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