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If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Guarantee
Breasts
Guarantees
Clean
Step
Sparkling
Shower
Steps
Showers
Take
Boyfriend
Time
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
I became known for surprising audiences. Except now, if I surprise them every time, they expect that.
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The worst thing that can happen for people who don't want women to be strong is that we help each other and become a force.
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Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.
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Anything television trivia I'm good at. But when you're on your couch, you're really good at it, but when you're standing there, it's probably scary.
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People say I'm a nice girl saying terrible things. I tend to say the opposite of what I think. You hope that the absolute power of that transcends, and reaches the audience.
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We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
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I remember the horror story that I told myself over and over again. I'm totally alone in my body. I'm totally alone in my head and nobody will ever see through my eyes. I'm just completely alone.
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Like I said about Seinfeld and Chris Rock, they're a great combination of brilliance and hard work. [But] there are people who are brilliant and don't work hard, and there are people who are brilliant and sabotage themselves.
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I don't need a lot of space.
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I do love the idea of ritual.
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I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.
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If I have to write by a certain time, I can pull through, but usually I just let stuff happen, hanging out with comic friends - or bringing a basic idea on stage and seeing if it goes anywhere.
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It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
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That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.
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Scientology is weird because it's new.
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Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.
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I'm lucky because I intentionally keep my overhead low, and so I can say, No, thank you.
Sarah Silverman
I'm always in those tabloids where they show who's badly dressed. It's funny, because each time I'm getting my picture taken, I'm thinking, This is a nice outfit.
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Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.
Sarah Silverman
