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I'm so glad Courtney Love is here I left my crack in my other purse.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Crack
Cracks
Glad
Humor
Funny
Left
Courtney
Love
Purse
Purses
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of offensive. Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?
Sarah Silverman
I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.
Sarah Silverman
I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
Sarah Silverman
I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There's no place to hide my balls.
Sarah Silverman
I first did stand-up when I was 17, and then I passed out fliers for a comedy club (in New York City) and I got onstage whenever I could. And musical theater went out the window as soon as I started doing stand-up.
Sarah Silverman
They've got great parents I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.
Sarah Silverman
I do love the idea of ritual.
Sarah Silverman
People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.
Sarah Silverman
I've never had an abortion. And I don't know if I would. But, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't fight to the death for women to make their own choices for their own human bodies.
Sarah Silverman
I just don't let that mentality be a part of my world.
Sarah Silverman
I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror.
Sarah Silverman
Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
Sarah Silverman
Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!
Sarah Silverman
I learned pretty early is I never defend my material it's for other people to if someone is offended. It's so subjective, and if you don't find it funny, it's definitely going to be offensive.
Sarah Silverman
Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it. That said, critiquing women's human shells isn't my thang. Though there's probably something funny or interesting to be said about those who do it, and what that comes from.
Sarah Silverman
I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it I'm very Jewish.
Sarah Silverman
When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.
Sarah Silverman
Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'
Sarah Silverman
I have no religion, but I can't escape being extremely Jewish ethnically - that is, culturally. In other words, I'm not religious, but I worry and I'm neurotic. And I'm very good with money.
Sarah Silverman
I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black.
Sarah Silverman