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I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?

Sarah Silverman

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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Learned
Funny
Marathons
Seems
Wheelchairs
Like
Marathon
People
Cheating
Allowed
Gonna
Humor

More quotes by Sarah Silverman

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Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.
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Like I said about Seinfeld and Chris Rock, they're a great combination of brilliance and hard work. [But] there are people who are brilliant and don't work hard, and there are people who are brilliant and sabotage themselves.
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When I was 17, I read a profile of Carol Leifer. Since then, I wanted to be her. I still want to be her.
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I think fake boobs have done great things for real boobs. I think people finally appreciate real boobs. People like real boobs. I do. I also enjoy the fact that they are life-nourishers.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.
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I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece.
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The worst thing that can happen for people who don't want women to be strong is that we help each other and become a force.
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I first did stand-up when I was 17, and then I passed out fliers for a comedy club (in New York City) and I got onstage whenever I could. And musical theater went out the window as soon as I started doing stand-up.
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I don't get this shitty attitude that only gays should care about gay issues and only women should care about women's issues.
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I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror.
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I can only speak from my own experience, and I would say that the depression I experienced feels like a chemical change. When it came over me, when it comes over me, it feels like it's coming over me like a flu.
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Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it. That said, critiquing women's human shells isn't my thang. Though there's probably something funny or interesting to be said about those who do it, and what that comes from.
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I learned pretty early is I never defend my material it's for other people to if someone is offended. It's so subjective, and if you don't find it funny, it's definitely going to be offensive.
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I'm always in those tabloids where they show who's badly dressed. It's funny, because each time I'm getting my picture taken, I'm thinking, This is a nice outfit.
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I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.
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Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.
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Being with friends felt like a burden. I remember just sobbing.
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I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls the real way.
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It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.
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