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I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?

Sarah Silverman

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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Like
Marathon
People
Cheating
Allowed
Gonna
Humor
Learned
Funny
Marathons
Seems
Wheelchairs

More quotes by Sarah Silverman

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I learned pretty early is I never defend my material it's for other people to if someone is offended. It's so subjective, and if you don't find it funny, it's definitely going to be offensive.
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I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.
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If you decide to do comedy that involves risk, risk means risk, and you can't complain of flesh wounds if you sit down at the table to play.
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What makes Disney movies and Pixar movies always so good, hey take time and they're constantly honing, and tweaking, and rejiggering things, and taking influences from every cog, including myself, that can help. Any place where there can be inspiration. They make every moment very layered and very rich.
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People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.
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If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.
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I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.
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I'd love to do drama if it was interesting.
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Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.
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I know how to write. So I am not totally at the mercy of filmmakers, but it's not a bad point.
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The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.
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I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white.
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I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show.
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I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.
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I don't get this shitty attitude that only gays should care about gay issues and only women should care about women's issues.
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If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy.
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Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
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I have lows, you know, everybody does ... but I kind of know how to handle it. I like to let myself wallow in it. I enforce it with terribly sad music, and it kind of pushes me through to the other side eventually, and I always know it's going to pass.
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I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.
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You have to take the chance to bomb and disappoint audiences.
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