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I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece.

Sarah Silverman

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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Sunday
Till
Favorite
Gonna
Wait
Humor
Waiting
Funny
Niece

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I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
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The worst thing that can happen for people who don't want women to be strong is that we help each other and become a force.
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I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black.
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I have lows, you know, everybody does ... but I kind of know how to handle it. I like to let myself wallow in it. I enforce it with terribly sad music, and it kind of pushes me through to the other side eventually, and I always know it's going to pass.
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I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
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Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.
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Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they're the cultures of the people who have been the most oppressed, black people and Jews. Not that they're the only funny people, but culturally, it comes from the pain, you know?
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Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.
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I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white.
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If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy.
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Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
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They've got great parents I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.
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I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be in that very, very dark place. It’s not romantic. Not even a little.
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I talk to friends who get their feelings hurt when they read Twitter mentions. I have an amazing solution - don't read Twitter mentions.
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I'm so glad Courtney Love is here I left my crack in my other purse.
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You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.
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I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself.
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I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, I want pussy! Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!
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By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.
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I'm personally not into a guy who wears pedal pushers and a necklace.
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