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Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Masturbating
Stop
Almost
Forget
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
Sarah Silverman
Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.
Sarah Silverman
If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.
Sarah Silverman
It's just hard to say, Well, I do this, which means this. If I'm telling you exactly who I am, then there's nothing for the audience to say.
Sarah Silverman
If you quit being cunty, the whole world will stop being against you.
Sarah Silverman
I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it I'm very Jewish.
Sarah Silverman
I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
Sarah Silverman
It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.
Sarah Silverman
Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.
Sarah Silverman
It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.
Sarah Silverman
I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.
Sarah Silverman
I just think of myself as a comedian, really.
Sarah Silverman
I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it's a form of self-torture.
Sarah Silverman
If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.
Sarah Silverman
If I have kids, I'll adopt.
Sarah Silverman
Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.
Sarah Silverman
Sometimes I am screwing around, and sometimes I get way too serious, but I am a pretty sincere person.
Sarah Silverman
Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.
Sarah Silverman
We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
Sarah Silverman
I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black.
Sarah Silverman