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Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Masturbating
Stop
Almost
Forget
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
I'm so glad Courtney Love is here I left my crack in my other purse.
Sarah Silverman
I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it I'm very Jewish.
Sarah Silverman
Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
Sarah Silverman
I really think everything is fair game.
Sarah Silverman
It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.
Sarah Silverman
When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.
Sarah Silverman
The worst thing that can happen for people who don't want women to be strong is that we help each other and become a force.
Sarah Silverman
I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show.
Sarah Silverman
I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.
Sarah Silverman
I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.
Sarah Silverman
I’ve always had dreams. When I was little, I’d go to sleep with my head on my hands, which were in fists like I was looking through a camera. I felt like sleep was the movies - just drifting off to the movies.
Sarah Silverman
I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.
Sarah Silverman
I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.
Sarah Silverman
It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
Sarah Silverman
I can only speak from my own experience, and I would say that the depression I experienced feels like a chemical change. When it came over me, when it comes over me, it feels like it's coming over me like a flu.
Sarah Silverman
I remember the horror story that I told myself over and over again. I'm totally alone in my body. I'm totally alone in my head and nobody will ever see through my eyes. I'm just completely alone.
Sarah Silverman
I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
Sarah Silverman
Scientology is weird because it's new.
Sarah Silverman
I talk to friends who get their feelings hurt when they read Twitter mentions. I have an amazing solution - don't read Twitter mentions.
Sarah Silverman
We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
Sarah Silverman
