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Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.

Sarah Silverman

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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Forget
Masturbating
Stop
Almost

More quotes by Sarah Silverman

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I don't need a lot of space.
Sarah Silverman
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I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it I'm very Jewish.
Sarah Silverman
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it. That said, critiquing women's human shells isn't my thang. Though there's probably something funny or interesting to be said about those who do it, and what that comes from.
Sarah Silverman
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I'm personally not into a guy who wears pedal pushers and a necklace.
Sarah Silverman
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If I were somebody else looking at my character, I'd be like, She's beautiful. I'm practicing. I'm not succeeding.
Sarah Silverman
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Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.
Sarah Silverman
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I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.
Sarah Silverman
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I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
Sarah Silverman
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We deserve quality lives with equality.
Sarah Silverman
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Like I said about Seinfeld and Chris Rock, they're a great combination of brilliance and hard work. [But] there are people who are brilliant and don't work hard, and there are people who are brilliant and sabotage themselves.
Sarah Silverman
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I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror.
Sarah Silverman
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If I have kids, I'll adopt.
Sarah Silverman
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Anything television trivia I'm good at. But when you're on your couch, you're really good at it, but when you're standing there, it's probably scary.
Sarah Silverman
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You have to take the chance to bomb and disappoint audiences.
Sarah Silverman
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Everyone's got their own velocity, and there's no real time frame with comedy.
Sarah Silverman
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I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.
Sarah Silverman
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I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.
Sarah Silverman
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If I have to write by a certain time, I can pull through, but usually I just let stuff happen, hanging out with comic friends - or bringing a basic idea on stage and seeing if it goes anywhere.
Sarah Silverman
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Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
Sarah Silverman
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I don't think comedy comes from hotbeds of doing shtick. I think it usually comes from some kind of childhood humiliation or darkness.
Sarah Silverman