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If I have kids, I'll adopt.

Sarah Silverman

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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Adopt
Kids

More quotes by Sarah Silverman

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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.
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I talk to friends who get their feelings hurt when they read Twitter mentions. I have an amazing solution - don't read Twitter mentions.
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I don't think comedy comes from hotbeds of doing shtick. I think it usually comes from some kind of childhood humiliation or darkness.
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I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
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I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece.
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I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me.
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That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.
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Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'
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Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.
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If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.
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When I was 17, I read a profile of Carol Leifer. Since then, I wanted to be her. I still want to be her.
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I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.
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I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.
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I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.
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I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There's no place to hide my balls.
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I remember the horror story that I told myself over and over again. I'm totally alone in my body. I'm totally alone in my head and nobody will ever see through my eyes. I'm just completely alone.
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I'd love to do drama if it was interesting.
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I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion.
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I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.
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I know how to write. So I am not totally at the mercy of filmmakers, but it's not a bad point.
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