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If I have kids, I'll adopt.

Sarah Silverman

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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Adopt
Kids

More quotes by Sarah Silverman

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Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies.
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We deserve quality lives with equality.
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We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
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My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, She's married to so and so!
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Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of offensive. Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?
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The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.
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I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.
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Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'
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If you quit being cunty, the whole world will stop being against you.
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I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.
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I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.
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You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.
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The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
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I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by that's one freedom I have.
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I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show.
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I've never had an abortion. And I don't know if I would. But, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't fight to the death for women to make their own choices for their own human bodies.
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Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.
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I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself.
Sarah Silverman
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I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
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I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
Sarah Silverman