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If I have kids, I'll adopt.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Adopt
Kids
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.
Sarah Silverman
Like I said about Seinfeld and Chris Rock, they're a great combination of brilliance and hard work. [But] there are people who are brilliant and don't work hard, and there are people who are brilliant and sabotage themselves.
Sarah Silverman
Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!
Sarah Silverman
Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they're the cultures of the people who have been the most oppressed, black people and Jews. Not that they're the only funny people, but culturally, it comes from the pain, you know?
Sarah Silverman
I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, I want pussy! Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!
Sarah Silverman
I became known for surprising audiences. Except now, if I surprise them every time, they expect that.
Sarah Silverman
I'm always in those tabloids where they show who's badly dressed. It's funny, because each time I'm getting my picture taken, I'm thinking, This is a nice outfit.
Sarah Silverman
I dress normal because I want people to treat me regular. And their brains explode. It's really fun.
Sarah Silverman
Why would I become involved with something that doesn't include everyone? If you're getting married today, it's the equivalent of joining a country club that doesn't allow blacks or Jews.
Sarah Silverman
I really think everything is fair game.
Sarah Silverman
People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!
Sarah Silverman
I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.
Sarah Silverman
If you decide to do comedy that involves risk, risk means risk, and you can't complain of flesh wounds if you sit down at the table to play.
Sarah Silverman
What makes Disney movies and Pixar movies always so good, hey take time and they're constantly honing, and tweaking, and rejiggering things, and taking influences from every cog, including myself, that can help. Any place where there can be inspiration. They make every moment very layered and very rich.
Sarah Silverman
If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.
Sarah Silverman
Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'
Sarah Silverman
Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.
Sarah Silverman
The female nudity in movies is always sexualized.
Sarah Silverman
Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
Sarah Silverman
The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.
Sarah Silverman