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If I have kids, I'll adopt.

Sarah Silverman

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Sarah Silverman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Adopt
Kids

More quotes by Sarah Silverman

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Anything television trivia I'm good at. But when you're on your couch, you're really good at it, but when you're standing there, it's probably scary.
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The worst thing that can happen for people who don't want women to be strong is that we help each other and become a force.
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Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.
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I'm personally not into a guy who wears pedal pushers and a necklace.
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When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.
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The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.
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My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, She's married to so and so!
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The female nudity in movies is always sexualized.
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I first did stand-up when I was 17, and then I passed out fliers for a comedy club (in New York City) and I got onstage whenever I could. And musical theater went out the window as soon as I started doing stand-up.
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People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.
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Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
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It's just hard to say, Well, I do this, which means this. If I'm telling you exactly who I am, then there's nothing for the audience to say.
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I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.
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If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.
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The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart.
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Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.
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It's funny how people will think I'm being sarcastic a lot and joking. So I'll say, I like your dress, and they'll go (bleep) you! Or I say something serious and they go, Oh, yeah, ha-ha. They're strangers. They're people who know me from comedy, but luckily I am on pretty much all the time!
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Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.
Sarah Silverman
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By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.
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I was sent to sleepover camp since I was 6, and you know, it's a recipe for disaster.
Sarah Silverman