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By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Comedy
Night
Live
Featured
Would
Graduated
Time
Performer
Saturday
Performers
Writer
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
We deserve quality lives with equality.
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If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.
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Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!
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I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.
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I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.
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Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it. That said, critiquing women's human shells isn't my thang. Though there's probably something funny or interesting to be said about those who do it, and what that comes from.
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Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.
Sarah Silverman
Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.
Sarah Silverman
I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.
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I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.
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What makes Disney movies and Pixar movies always so good, hey take time and they're constantly honing, and tweaking, and rejiggering things, and taking influences from every cog, including myself, that can help. Any place where there can be inspiration. They make every moment very layered and very rich.
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Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.
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People who follow their religion to the letter of the law are just silly. I mean, I want to tell Hasidic Jews I promise you, God will not mind if you wear a nice cotton blend in the summer.
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I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
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I first did stand-up when I was 17, and then I passed out fliers for a comedy club (in New York City) and I got onstage whenever I could. And musical theater went out the window as soon as I started doing stand-up.
Sarah Silverman
I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, I want pussy! Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!
Sarah Silverman
If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy.
Sarah Silverman
We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
Sarah Silverman
I have no religion, but I can't escape being extremely Jewish ethnically - that is, culturally. In other words, I'm not religious, but I worry and I'm neurotic. And I'm very good with money.
Sarah Silverman
Scientology is weird because it's new.
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