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Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.
Sarah Silverman
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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Someone
Men
Life
Like
Squash
Mines
Mine
Happy
Doesn
More quotes by Sarah Silverman
Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!
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I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
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When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.
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I do love the idea of ritual.
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I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, I want pussy! Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!
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I'm so glad Courtney Love is here I left my crack in my other purse.
Sarah Silverman
Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'
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I think fake boobs have done great things for real boobs. I think people finally appreciate real boobs. People like real boobs. I do. I also enjoy the fact that they are life-nourishers.
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Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.
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I'm lucky because I intentionally keep my overhead low, and so I can say, No, thank you.
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I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There's no place to hide my balls.
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I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
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I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much.
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I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.
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I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it I'm very Jewish.
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We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.
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If you decide to do comedy that involves risk, risk means risk, and you can't complain of flesh wounds if you sit down at the table to play.
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We deserve quality lives with equality.
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Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of offensive. Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?
Sarah Silverman
I don't think comedy comes from hotbeds of doing shtick. I think it usually comes from some kind of childhood humiliation or darkness.
Sarah Silverman
