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Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.

Sarah Silverman

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Sarah Silverman
Age: 53
Born: 1970
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Bedford
New Hampshire
Sarah Kate Silverman
Life
Like
Squash
Mines
Mine
Happy
Doesn
Someone
Men

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My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, She's married to so and so!
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I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.
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Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.
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You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.
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Letting your freak flag fly is something, no matter who you are, that takes great bravery, straight up.
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I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror.
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I just don't let that mentality be a part of my world.
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I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, I want pussy! Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!
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People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!
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People say I'm a nice girl saying terrible things. I tend to say the opposite of what I think. You hope that the absolute power of that transcends, and reaches the audience.
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The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart.
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I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.
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I really think everything is fair game.
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I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it I'm very Jewish.
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When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.
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I think when you're 25 you're still finding yourself, and you should have the freedom of that.
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Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of offensive. Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?
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Don't tell girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. It's like saying, 'Hey, when you get in the shower, I'm not gonna read your diary.' 'Wait--are you gonna read my diary?' 'No! I said I'm not gonna read your diary. Go take a shower!'
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Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.
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Like I said about Seinfeld and Chris Rock, they're a great combination of brilliance and hard work. [But] there are people who are brilliant and don't work hard, and there are people who are brilliant and sabotage themselves.
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