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Sometimes love can be an ugly thing.

Sarah Dessen

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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Thing
Love
Ugly
Sometimes

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There was nothing, nothing to depend on. And why was I surprised?
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Lifestyle is an terrible, unpleasant put to not have a very finest buddy.
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If someone is really close with you, your getting upset or them getting upset is okay, and they don't change because of it. It's just part of the relationship. It happens. You deal with it.
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It passed, though. That was the bad thing. It always passed.
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If things don't work out the way you want, hold your head up high and be proud. And try again. And again. And again!
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In my group of friends, I was always the one who remembered everything. The stories, the boys my friends and I dated, all the details. So I think a part of me was always filing them away, although at the time I wasn't sure why.
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There are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet. And when they let you down, shifting from where you've carefully placed them, it shakes your faith, right where you stand.
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And to know me, as you have discovered, is to love me.
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Because maybe, the best of times were yet to come. You never knew.
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It was like discovering that some part of you wasn't yours at all. And it made me wonder what else I couldn't claim.
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I wondered which was harder, in the end. The act of telling, or who you told it to. Or maybe if, when you finally got it out, the story was really all that mattered.
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Obviously it won't all run smoothly. But it's important to awknowledge that while we may make mistakes, in the long run, we may also learn fromt them.
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And that was it. All this buildup to a great leap, and I didn't fall or fly. Instead I found myself back on the edge of the cliff, blinking, wondering if I'd ever jumped at all. It's not supposed to be like this.
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I wasn't ready for this, but then I probably never would be, and this year, like so much else, wouldn't wait. I had no choice but to get out of my car, with everyone watching and begin in earnest, alone. So I did
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Self respect, Colie. If you don't have it, the world will walk all over you.
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