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You're not the kind of person who smiles for nothing, Colie. I have to earn every one.

Sarah Dessen

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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Smiles
Earn
Persons
Person
Nothing
Every
Kind

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I love YA, and it's been a really good fit for me. But at some point, I would like to try something else: a collection of short stories, or writing about something other than high school. A lot has happened to me since I was eighteen.
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I turned and looked into the gas station, where Wes was now paying, as the man who'd driven us looked on. That's too bad, I said. It's okay, though, she assured me. Someday I'll show you an extraordinary boy, Macy. They do exist. You just have to believe me. Don't worry, I said. I do.
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During this time we've been apart, it's you I've thought of when I'm at my weakest, and you who have pulled me through.
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...You can't unlearn something, even if you want to. You know what you know.
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It doesn't matter, anyway, why you like me. Just that you do.
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I'd been through so much, falling short again and again, and only recently had found a place where who I was, right now, was enough.
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Self respect, Colie. If you don't have it, the world will walk all over you.
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Not everything's perfect, especially in the beginning. And its all right to have a little bit of regret every once in a while. It's when you feel it all the time and can't do anything about it... that's when you get into trouble
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And trying to break it down this way, to minor and major offenses, maybes and what-ifs, was like arguing over the origin of cracks in a broken egg. It was done. How it happened didn't matter anymore.
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You just walk over there and into the office and say, 'Hey, be my prom date,' he said. It's that simple.
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So I just decided to relax into it, bumpy and crazy as it might be, and try for once to just go along for the ride.
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Of course it hurts, she grumbled, tipping my head further back. Life sucks. Get over it
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Your mother won a special reward, she told me, because everyone had a head in her pictures. We all applauded.
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My point is you're different here. Hollis I've only been here for a month. A lot can happen in a month he replied. Shoot in two weeks I met my future wife changed my entire life's trajectory and bought my first tie. You bought a tie I asked. Because honestly this was the most shocking part.
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My sister, who never understood most of the things I wanted her to, might have been able to understand what had happened to me in this summer of weddings and beginnings. And she was right. The first boy was always the hardest.
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But the bottom line is that, as humans, we are by nature selfish creatures. The only way we care about anything, really, is by making it about us.
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There was nothing, nothing to depend on. And why was I surprised?
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As I rolled over, stretching out, my only thought was to go back to the dream I'd been having, which I couldn't remember, other than that it had been good, in that distant, hopeful way unreal things can be.
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Maybe I'd just figured out there were some things you were better off not knowing
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You can't just plan a moment when things get back on track, just as you can't plan the moment you lose your way in the first place.
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