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You should have seen your face, she said, her breath hot in my ear. Sa-woooon.

Sarah Dessen

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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Breath
Breaths
Ears
Seen
Face
Faces
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I would miss Colby, but it wasn't going anywhere. All the more reason why I should.
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I told you, everyone understands a quest.
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Your mother won a special reward, she told me, because everyone had a head in her pictures. We all applauded.
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But as i lay there, it only seemes like silence filling my ears. And the thing was, it was so freaking loud.
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That was the thing. You just never knew. Forever was so many different things. It was always changing, it was what everything was really all about.
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At the same time, though, I was beginning to wonder if this was just how it was supposed to be for me, like perhaps I wasn't capable of having that many people in my life at any one time. My mom turned up, Nate walked away, one door opening as another clicked shut.
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There was nothing, nothing to depend on. And why was I surprised?
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I reached up with my finger and traced the scar over my eyebrow, remembering when that was the greatest hurt I'd ever known.
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Growing up means :propelling yourself forward into whatever lies ahead, one turn of the wheel at a time.
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'I don't get it,' Caroline said, bemused. 'She's the only one with wings. Why is that?'
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But anyone can begin. It was the part with all the promise, the potential, the things I loved. More and more, though, I was finding myself wanting to find out what happened in the end.
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No one could tell you: you just had to go through it on your own. If you were lucky, you came out on the other side and understood. If you didn't, you kept getting thrust back, retracing those steps, until you finally got it right.
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And for one second, it was like I could feel the timing clicking together, finally pieces falling into place.
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But sometimes you lose. Nothing you can do but admit it. -Eli
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After all with me & Marshall, it had never been about words or conversation, where there was too much to be risked or lost. Here, though, in the quiet pressed against each other, this felt familiar to me. And it was nice to let someone get close again, even if it was just for a little while.
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