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I should have told you from the start. I will let you down.

Sarah Dessen

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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Told
Start

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It's always very pure, that last moment before an ugly, unsettling truth hits someone. The most stark of before-and-afters.
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You get what you give, but also what you're willing to take. The night before, I'd offered up my hand. Now, if I held on, there was no telling what it was possible to recieve in return.
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I just can't ever be a free spirit and just relax. When it comes to work, this is good. I'm very disciplined, which with writing is often half the battle, or more. But it also means that if I want to, say, play hooky and chocolate and watch Bravo all afternoon, I feel horribly guilty. I wish I could find a nice balance.
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Shoulda, coulda, woulda. It's so easy in the past tense.
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So you should remember that, when you're thinking about what other people can deal with. Maybe it's not so bad.
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You asked me to go out with you. I know you probably changed your mind. But you should know, the answer was yes. It's always been yes when it comes to you.
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All you could do was take on as much weight as you can bear. And if you're lucky, there's someone close enough by to shoulder the rest.
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You should have seen your face, she said, her breath hot in my ear. Sa-woooon.
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The further you go, the more you have to be proud of. At the same time, in order to come a long way, you have to be behind to begin with. IN the end, though maybe it's not how you reach a place that matters. Just that you get there at all.
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There has to be a middle. Without it, nothing can ever truly be whole. Because it is not just the space between, but also what holds everything together.
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It was like discovering that some part of you wasn't yours at all. And it made me wonder what else I couldn't claim.
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But sometimes you lose. Nothing you can do but admit it. -Eli
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But risk is just part of relationships. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.
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And while it is hard enough to take away something that makes a person happy it's even more difficult when it seems like it's the only thing.
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I don't know. Just because someone's pretty doesn't mean she's decent. Or vice versa. I'm not into appearances. I like flaws, I think they make things interesting.
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No one could tell you: you just had to go through it on your own. If you were lucky, you came out on the other side and understood. If you didn't, you kept getting thrust back, retracing those steps, until you finally got it right.
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Together, we looked down at the tiny house, the sole thing on this vast, flat surface. Like the only person living on the moon. It could be either lonely or peaceful, depending on how you looked at it. It's a start, I said.
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Okay, he said. He took a breath. What would you do, if you could do anything? I took a step toward him, closing the space between us. This. I said. And then I kissed him.
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Says the girl with no thyme.
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Just me and the future, finally together. Now there was a happy ending I could believe in.
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