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How do you even begin to return to someone, much less convince them to do the same for you? I had no idea. More than ever, though, right then I had to believe the answer would just come to me.
Sarah Dessen
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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Even
Though
Much
Less
Believe
Idea
Would
Someone
Convince
Ideas
Begin
Ever
Answer
Come
Return
Right
Answers
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Forgiveness is hard. Acceptance is doable.
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What did it feel like, I wondered, to love someone that much? So much that you couldn't even control yourself when they came close, as if you might just break free of whatever was holding you and throw yourself at them with enough force to easily overwhelm you both.
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But anyone can begin. It was the part with all the promise, the potential, the things I loved. More and more, though, I was finding myself wanting to find out what happened in the end.
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It's the same thing,' I told her. 'What is?' 'Being afraid and being alive.' 'No,' she said slowly, and now it was as if she was speaking a language she knew at first I wouldn't understand, the very words, not to mention the concept, being foreign to me. 'Macy, no. It's not.
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It was just one of those things, I said, You know, that just happen. You don't think or plan. You just do it.
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Are you crazy? Flirting with Eli Stock in front of Belissa Norwood, in Belissa Norwood’s house, while eating Belissa Norwood’s cupcakes?
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In school, writing was the only thing that really came naturally to me, but it wasn't until college that I realized that I could do it for more than just fun.
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The end of a wedding reception is always so depressing. And only the bride and groom are spared, jetting off into the sunset while the rest of us wake up the next morning to just another day.
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So what do you wear to dump somebody? she asked me, twirling a lock of hair around one finger. Black, for mourning? Or something cheerful and colorful, to distract them from their pain? Or maybe you wear some sort of camouflage, something that will help you disappear quickly in case they don't take it well.
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I don't lie. You don't lie, I repeated. That's what I said. Ever. Nope. Sure you don't, I thought.
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And that was it. All this buildup to a great leap, and I didn't fall or fly. Instead I found myself back on the edge of the cliff, blinking, wondering if I'd ever jumped at all. It's not supposed to be like this.
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I didn't want to talk about what happened, so it seemed safest not to talk at all.
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If there was a way to recognize something you'd never seen but still knew by heart, I felt it as I looked at his face. Finally, someone understood.
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Look. We both know life is short, Macy. Too short to waste a single second with anyone who doesn't appreciate and value you.
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I always thought I was different.
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You can't just plan a moment when things get back on track, just as you can't plan the moment you lose your way in the first place.
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