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Not for the first time, I wished both of us could just say what we meant. But that, like so much else, was impossible

Sarah Dessen

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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Time
Like
Wished
Meant
Impossible
Else
Firsts
First
Much

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Love is needing someone. Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you.
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Rogerson, I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, where would I find the pelagic zone? In the open sea, he said. Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints.
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Maybe marriage, like life, is'nt only about the big moments, whether they be good or bad. Maybe it's all the small things — like being guided slowly forward, surely, day after day — that stretches out to strengthen even the most tenuous bond.
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He was the closest thing I'd ever had to something, or someone, that mattered. But in the end, close didn't count. You were either in, or you weren't.
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He doesn’t love me. He might still love me as I was at fifteen, when I didn’t know any better. When I trusted everyone. I’m not that person any more. He’s just a boy. He was the first to really hurt me, but he’s just a boy. There were a lot of them.
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That's the thing about someone who rarely gets upset: when they do, you notice.
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I used to worry I was entirely uninteresting, but the truth is I think if my life was more exciting I'd never have any time to write.
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You're not the kind of person who smiles for nothing, Colie. I have to earn every one.
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I sat up, sliding them off, and the quiet around me did not, for once, seem empty and vast. Instead, for the first time in a while, it felt like it already was full.
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If this was my forever, I wouldn't want to spend it here.
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There was something so heavy about the burden of history, of the past. I wasn't sure I had it in me to keep looking back.
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Clearly, sharing something could take you a long way, or at least to a different place than you'd planned. Like a friendship or a family, or even jsut alone on a curb on a Saturday, trying to get your bearings as best you can.
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I don't think anyone would think that an ellipsis represents doubt or anything. I think it's more, you know, hinting at the future. What lies ahead.
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Maybe I'd just figured out there were some things you were better off not knowing
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So while it seemed like you were seeing everything, you really weren't. Just bits and pieces that looked like a whole.
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And trying to break it down this way, to minor and major offenses, maybes and what-ifs, was like arguing over the origin of cracks in a broken egg. It was done. How it happened didn't matter anymore.
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I am not breaking my rules,' I snapped, hating that I'd ended up on the advice-recieving end of things, jumping from Dear Remy to Confused in Cincinnati all in one summer.
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Maybe my sister and I shared more than we thought. We were both waiting and wishing for something we couldn't completely control: I wanted to be alone, and she the total opposite. It was weird, really, to have something so contrary in common. But at least it was something.
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