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She was just a shell of her former self, functioning and talking but hardly alive.

Sarah Dessen

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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Hardly
Former
Alive
Talking
Self
Dreamland
Functioning
Shell
Shells

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Which is completely out-of-line behavior. Then you are wholly within your rights to stomp on their foot. No, Delia said, over her shoulder. Actually, you're not. Just excuse yourself as politely as possible, and get out of arm's reach. Kristy looked at me, shaking her head. Stomp them. she said, under her breath. Really.
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And that was as far as he got before i heard it. The thumping of footsteps, running up the lawn toward me: It seemed like I could hear it through the grass, like leaning your ear to a railroad track and feeling the train coming, miles away. As the noise got closer I could hear ragged breaths, and then a voice. It was my mother.
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So while it seemed like you were seeing everything, you really weren't. Just bits and pieces that looked like a whole.
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He wasn't what I'd thought he was maybe he never had been. I wasn't what I'd thought I was, either.
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Wake up, Caitlin, Mr. Lensing had said. But what he didn't under­stand was that this dreamland was preferable, walking through this life half-sleeping, everything at arm's length or farther away.
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Of course it hurts, she grumbled, tipping my head further back. Life sucks. Get over it
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I honestly don't have many creative outlets. I'm not crafty - although motherhood has forced me to try to be - and I can only draw trees, beaches, and clouds. I'm a so-so cook except for deviled eggs. Writing has always been the one thing I feel that I am pretty good at doing. But it's enough, thank goodness.
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Some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic.
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I don't believe in failure, because simply by saying you've failed, you've admitted you attempted. And anyone who attempts is not a failure. Those who truly fail in my eyes are the ones who never try at all. The ones who sit on the couch and whine and moan and wait for the world to change for them.
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What you have to decide... is how you want your life to be. If your forever was ending tomorrow, would this be how you'd want to have spent it? Listen, the truth is, nothing is guaranteed. You know that more than anybody. So dont be afraid. Be alive.
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I'd been convinced I was on the outside, but really, I'd always been within arm's reach. All I had to do was ask, and I, too, would be easily brought back, surrounded and immersed, finding myself safe, somewhere in between.
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Your mother won a special reward, she told me, because everyone had a head in her pictures. We all applauded.
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When I pictured myself, it was always like just an outline in a coloring book, with the inside not yet completed. All the standard features were there. but the colors, the zigzags and plaids, the bits and pieces that made up me, Halley, weren't yet in place. Scarlett's vibrant reds and golds helped some, but I was still waiting.
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I think having a good agent is key. I've been with mine for ten years now, and she's very honest with me. There are a lot of times I've sent her books that were not so good because I was tired of writing, or panicked about money, and she's told me flat out, You don't want this to be your next book. Trust me.
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Don't be a fool. Don't give up something important to hold onto someone who can't even say they love you.
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But something, somehow, had made all these paths converge. You couldn't find it on a checklist, or work it into the equation. It just happened.
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Don't give me no rotten tomato, 'cause all I ever wanted was your sweet potato.
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What you need, what you deserve, is a guy who adores you for what you are. Who doesn't see you as a project, but a prize. you know?
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