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In those first few hours officially single again the world seems like it expands, suddenly bigger and more vast now that you have to get through it alone.
Sarah Dessen
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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
World
Bigger
Single
Alone
Hours
Seems
Officially
Firsts
Expands
First
Vast
Like
Suddenly
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When I pictured myself, it was always like just an outline in a coloring book, with the inside not yet completed. All the standard features were there. but the colors, the zigzags and plaids, the bits and pieces that made up me, Halley, weren't yet in place. Scarlett's vibrant reds and golds helped some, but I was still waiting.
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Who would have thought that grieving an old relationship and enjoying a new one could happen simultaneously, in parallel? Yet another thing you only find out once it's happening to you.
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Like a word on a page that you’ve printed and read a million times, that suddenly looks strange or wrong, foreign. And you feel scared for a second, like you’ve lost something, even if you’re not sure what it is.
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Says the girl with no thyme.
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In a way, I was almost happy to see her. The worst part of me, out in the flesh. Blinking back at me in the dim light, daring me to call her a name other than my own.
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All you could do was take on as much weight as you can bear. And if you're lucky, there's someone close enough by to shoulder the rest.
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It's not always so simple, Haven. Sometimes there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. Sometimes even the ones you want to believe turn out to be liars.
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It was so easy to disown what you couldn't recognize, to keep yourself apart from things that were foreign and unsettling. The only person you can be sure to control, always, is yourself. Which is a lot to be sure of, but at the same time, not enough.
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but you could also look at it the other way. Like you’re saying no matter how bad things are for you, I can still relate.
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Like I, of all people, didn't know better than to lead a total stranger to the point where they could hurt me most, knowing how easily they'd be able to find their way back to it.
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funny how a beautiful song could tell such a sad story
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Some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic.
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Maybe I'd just figured out there were some things you were better off not knowing
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That first love. And the first one who breaks your heart. For me, they just happen to be the same person.
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That was the thing about being on the inside: the world was just going on, even when it seemed like time for you had stopped for good.
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You know, I told him,if you don't know how to eat a cupcake, that's nothing to be ashamed of. Now he did smile. I know how to eat a cupcake. Sure you do. I do, he said. I just don't want one of those. Yeah? Prove it.
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