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I waited. Because with Eli, he was never trying to get you to finish for him. He always knew where he was going, even if it took a little while to get there.
Sarah Dessen
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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Trying
Going
Waited
Always
Finish
Never
Took
Knew
Littles
Little
Even
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It was just perfect, just right all at once.
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During the long stretches of quiet two-lane highway, with the sun setting in the distance, it was somehow easier to say things aloud, and regardless of what was said, we just kept moving toward that horizon.
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Quiet and incredible. I really envy that.
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Some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic.
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How weird that must be, to stay the same as everyone else changes.
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I just thought to my self, all of a sudden, that we had something in common. A natural chemistry, if you will. And I had a feeling that something big was going to happen. To both of us. That we were, in fact, meant to be together.
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“In Truth,” I said, “there are no rules other than you have to tell the truth.” “How do you win?” he asked. “That,” I said, “is such a boy question.
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There are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet. And when they let you down, shifting from where you've carefully placed them, it shakes your faith, right where you stand.
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Forgiveness is hard. Acceptance is doable.
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I took in a breath. What's the one thing you'd do, I asked. if you could do anything? Pass, he said. For a second I was sure I'd heard wrong. What? He cleared his throat. I said, I pass. Why? He turned his head and looked at me. Because. Because why? Because I just do.
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I wondered if it was really because he cared about me, or if now I was just another challenge.
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I always say that teenagers are the first to know if you're pandering to them.
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He's very nice. He's something I replied. She considered this zipping her purse shut. Then she said Well everyone is. Everyone is Something. For some reason that stuck with me simple and yet not every since she'd said it. It was like a puzzle as well two vague words with one clear one between them.
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Times like this it did seem real I was leaving, and even more that my family, and this life, would go on without me. And again I felt that emptiness rise up, but pushed it away. Still, I lingered there, in the doorway, memorizing the noise. The moment. Tucking it away out of sight, to be remembered when I needed it most.
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During this time we've been apart, it's you I've thought of when I'm at my weakest, and you who have pulled me through.
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The truth was, I wasn't sure. But I wanted to keep believing people could change, and it was certainly easier to do so when you were in the midst of it.
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I turned and looked into the gas station, where Wes was now paying, as the man who'd driven us looked on. That's too bad, I said. It's okay, though, she assured me. Someday I'll show you an extraordinary boy, Macy. They do exist. You just have to believe me. Don't worry, I said. I do.
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