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As I rolled over, stretching out, my only thought was to go back to the dream I'd been having, which I couldn't remember, other than that it had been good, in that distant, hopeful way unreal things can be.
Sarah Dessen
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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Good
Distant
Things
Hopeful
Couldn
Dream
Thought
Remember
Rolled
Back
Unreal
Way
Stretching
More quotes by Sarah Dessen
It's all about you, Colie. She touched one finger to her temple, tap tap tap. Believe in yourself up here and it will make you stronger than you could ever imagine. There is something infectious about confidence. And for that one moment, with my eyebrows burning and my eyes watering, I believed. And good hair never hurt either.
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Okay, he said. He took a breath. What would you do, if you could do anything? I took a step toward him, closing the space between us. This. I said. And then I kissed him.
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I always thought I was different.
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Who would have thought that grieving an old relationship and enjoying a new one could happen simultaneously, in parallel? Yet another thing you only find out once it's happening to you.
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So this had been all I wanted, a boy who understood how I felt. Now, though, I sometimes wished for more.
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But risk is just part of relationships. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.
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Clearly, sharing something could take you a long way, or at least to a different place than you'd planned. Like a friendship or a family, or even jsut alone on a curb on a Saturday, trying to get your bearings as best you can.
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I spent a lot of time looking at that picture. Wondering what I’d think of that girl, if I was someone else, seeing how easily she sits in her boyfriend’s lap, laughing, with his arms around her. I would have thought her life was perfect, the way I once thought Cass’s was. It was too easy, I was learning, to just assume things.
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And that was it. All this buildup to a great leap, and I didn't fall or fly. Instead I found myself back on the edge of the cliff, blinking, wondering if I'd ever jumped at all. It's not supposed to be like this.
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I'd been through so much, falling short again and again, and only recently had found a place where who I was, right now, was enough.
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Morris was not the type to offer a hug or even hold your hand. But there was something in his quiet indignation at the universe then--and Luke, now--that was just the kind of comfort I needed. I'm such a mess, I said. We're almost off the island and I didn't even ask you where you were going. He shrugged. No place. Wherever you are.
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Writing a novel is like childbirth: once you realize how awful it really is, you never want to do it again.
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My point is you're different here. Hollis I've only been here for a month. A lot can happen in a month he replied. Shoot in two weeks I met my future wife changed my entire life's trajectory and bought my first tie. You bought a tie I asked. Because honestly this was the most shocking part.
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You can never be sure of anyone until you're close enough to see them clearly.
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Okay. Enough. I got out of the closet, brushing myself off, then turned around to face her. This is happening. So you need to go downstairs, face your fears, and make the best of it, and everything will be okay. She narrowed her eyes at me. When did you suddenly become so positive? Just get out of there.
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It doesn't matter, anyway, why you like me. Just that you do.
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Maybe other writers have perfect first drafts, but I am not one of them. I always try to get the book as tight as I can, but you reach a point as the author where you have lost all perspective.
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I realized how truly hard it was, really, to see someone you love change right before your eyes. Not only is it scary, it throws your balance off as well.
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It was like discovering that some part of you wasn't yours at all. And it made me wonder what else I couldn't claim.
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Times like this it did seem real I was leaving, and even more that my family, and this life, would go on without me. And again I felt that emptiness rise up, but pushed it away. Still, I lingered there, in the doorway, memorizing the noise. The moment. Tucking it away out of sight, to be remembered when I needed it most.
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