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It was so weird, because usually I was totally nervous talking to guys. But Eli was different. He made me want to say more, not less. Which was maybe not a good thing.
Sarah Dessen
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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Maybe
Guy
Talking
Less
Nervous
Different
Weird
Thing
Totally
Made
Guys
Good
Usually
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Leaving was easy. It was everything else that was so damned hard.
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All the bitchy girls in the world are just a training ground for what men can do to you.
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Like a word on a page that you’ve printed and read a million times, that suddenly looks strange or wrong, foreign. And you feel scared for a second, like you’ve lost something, even if you’re not sure what it is.
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Why don't you ever wait a second and see what I'm planning, or thinking, before you burst in with your opinions and ideas? You never even give me a chance.
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When I was in high school, I was always really envious of those girls who seemed to have everything: the perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect boyfriend, perfect life. It wasn't until I was older that I realized that nobody's life is perfect, and that those girls probably had a lot of the same problems I did.
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No, no, no to Tallyho.
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Now I felt like I was drifting, sucked down by an undertow, and too far out to swim back to the shore.
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That was the thing. You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again, that shocking.
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What, I said, is that a crime here or something? Like only buying one thing at the Gas/Gro?
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If someone is really close with you, your getting upset or them getting upset is okay, and they don't change because of it. It's just part of the relationship. It happens. You deal with it.
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Music is a total constant. That's why we have such a strong visceral connection to it, you know? Because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in your or the world, that one song says the same, just like that moment.
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It all depends on how you choose to live it. It's like forever, always changing.
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I took his wildness from him and tried to fold it into myself, filling up the empty spaces all those second place finishes left behind.
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But as i lay there, it only seemes like silence filling my ears. And the thing was, it was so freaking loud.
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