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This Lullaby is only a few words, a simple run of chords, quiet here in this spare room, but you can hear it, hear it, wherever you may go, even if I let you down, this lullaby plays on.
Sarah Dessen
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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Even
Room
Rooms
Lullaby
Hear
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Simple
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Words
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Running
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May
Wherever
Play
Quiet
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The truth about forever is that it is happening right now.
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Here was a boy who liked flaws, who saw them not as failings but as strengths. Who knew such a person could exist, or what would have happened if we'd found each other under different circumstances? Maybe in a perfect world. But not in this one.
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What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in parts or in whole, they were the ones who showed up, who stayed there, regardless.
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That was the hard thing about grief, and the grieving. They spoke another language, and the words we knew always fell short of what we wanted them to say.
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That was the thing. You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again, that shocking.
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The truth was, I wasn't sure. But I wanted to keep believing people could change, and it was certainly easier to do so when you were in the midst of it.
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My sister, who never understood most of the things I wanted her to, might have been able to understand what had happened to me in this summer of weddings and beginnings. And she was right. The first boy was always the hardest.
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The worst part was that I had things I wanted to tell my mother, too many to count, but none of them would go down so easy. She'd been through too much, between my siters-I could not add to the weight. So instead, I did my best to balance it out, bit by bit, word by word, story by story, even if none of them were true.
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The thing about Wes, Delia said to me, unwrapping another package of turkey, is that he thinks he can fix anything. And if he can't fix it, he can at least do something with the pieces of what's broken.
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But anyone can begin. It was the part with all the promise, the potential, the things I loved. More and more, though, I was finding myself wanting to find out what happened in the end.
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I don't talk about my books while I'm writing them: not even my husband knows what a novel's about until it's done.
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Your mother won a special reward, she told me, because everyone had a head in her pictures. We all applauded.
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Fifteen minutes later, a meeting was called. Okay, look. Deb's face was dead serious. I know I just joined this project, and I don't want to offend anyone. But I'm going to be honest. I think you've been going about this all wrong. I'm offended, Dave told her flatly.
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Okay, he said. He took a breath. What would you do, if you could do anything? I took a step toward him, closing the space between us. This. I said. And then I kissed him.
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Holding people away from you, and denying yourself love, that doesn't make you strong. if anything, it makes you weaker. Because you're doing it out of fear.
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It sounded stupid, but of course everything does when you're just getting the bare bones facts, only the basics.
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If things don't work out the way you want, hold your head up high and be proud. And try again. And again. And again!
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I'm incredibly flattered when people tell me that my books helped them through high school. Because of my own experience, the thought that something I wrote might help someone who felt the way I did when I was a teen...that's huge. It awes me.
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I've given lots of people chances. But there's only so much faith you can have in people.
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The mistakes you make now count. Not for everything, and not forever. But they do matter, and they shape you.If you take nothing else from what I've been through, at least remember this: make your choices well. Because you'll always be accountable for them. That's what being an adult is all about.
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