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I'd been convinced I was on the outside, but really, I'd always been within arm's reach. All I had to do was ask, and I, too, would be easily brought back, surrounded and immersed, finding myself safe, somewhere in between.
Sarah Dessen
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Sarah Dessen
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 6
Novelist
Writer
Evanston
Illinois
Within
Convinced
Back
Somewhere
Really
Brought
Always
Reach
Immersed
Would
Outside
Surrounded
Safe
Findings
Arms
Finding
Asks
Easily
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We all have one idea of what the color blue is, but pressed to describe it specifically, there are so many ways: the ocean, lapis lazuli, the sky, someone's eyes. Our definitions are as different as we are ourselves.
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Welcome to adulthood, she said. It sucks as much as high school.
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Fine...a word that you said when someone asked how you were but didn't really care to know the truth.
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I can say I made a lot of mistakes, but I don't regret things. Because at least I didn't spend a life standing outside, wondering what living would be like.
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Times like this it did seem real I was leaving, and even more that my family, and this life, would go on without me. And again I felt that emptiness rise up, but pushed it away. Still, I lingered there, in the doorway, memorizing the noise. The moment. Tucking it away out of sight, to be remembered when I needed it most.
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Donneven, Bettaquit and Mmmhmmmm
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It's not always easy being her daughter.' I think,' she said, 'sometimes it's hard no matter whose daughter you are.
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He doesn’t love me. He might still love me as I was at fifteen, when I didn’t know any better. When I trusted everyone. I’m not that person any more. He’s just a boy. He was the first to really hurt me, but he’s just a boy. There were a lot of them.
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My sister, who never understood most of the things I wanted her to, might have been able to understand what had happened to me in this summer of weddings and beginnings. And she was right. The first boy was always the hardest.
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He wasn't what I'd thought he was maybe he never had been. I wasn't what I'd thought I was, either.
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Everything, in the end, comes down to timing. One second, one minute, one hour could make all the difference.
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We were willing to do so much for the people we loved, even if it meant hurting ourselves. Maybe that, in the end, was what love- all kinds- was really about.
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From up above, in a plane passing over, you’d just see one little light in all this dark, with no idea of the lives that were being lived within it, and in the house beside, and beside that one. So much happening in the world, night and day, hour by hour. It was no wonder we were meant to sleep, if only to check out of it for a little while.
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If things don't work out the way you want, hold your head up high and be proud. And try again. And again. And again!
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As if at the age of eighteen life already sucked beyond any hope of improvement.
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Some things don't last forever, but some things do.
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And to know me, as you have discovered, is to love me.
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