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Why the hell shouldn't I run away with the circus?
Sara Gruen
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Sara Gruen
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 1
Author
Novelist
Writer
Vancouver
British Columbia
Shouldn
Hell
Running
Away
Circus
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I look after those who look after me. He smacks his lips, stares at me, and adds, I also look after those who don't. - Sara Gruen (Water for Elephants)
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Even as your body betrays you, your mind denies it.
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Honey, I plan to marry you the moment the ink is dry on that death certificate.
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Then I lie down on the horse blanket and drift into a dream about Marlena that will probably cost me my soul.
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I tend not to think about the reading public at all, or the business, when I'm writing.
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I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I'm afraid to breathe in case I break the spell.
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He stares at me, and then leans back in his chair. He's ill, Jacob. I say nothing. He's a paragon schnitzophonic. He's what?! Paragon schnitzophonic, repeats Uncle Al. You mean paranoid schizophrenic? Sure. Whatever. But the bottom line is he's mad as a hatter.
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I roll onto my side and stare out the venetian blinds at the blue sky beyond. After a few minutes I'm lulled into a sort of peace. The sky, the sky--same as it always was.
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You do right by me, I'll show you a life most suckers can't even dream of.
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...if you expect people to try to do things your way, you're going to have to give some hints as to what that way is.
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They grew fat and happy--the horses, not the children, or Marlena for that matter.
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I am further back, surrounded on all sides by wailing men, their faces shiny with tears. Uncle Al promised three dollars and a bottle of Canadian whiskey to the man who puts on the best show. You've never seen such grief-- even the dogs were howling.
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Life is the most spectacular show on earth.
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The thought has cheered me, and I'd like to hang onto that. Must protect my little pockets of happiness.
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I just can't. I'm married. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.
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Keeping up the appearance of having all your marbles is hard work, but important.
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