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I have to convince myself that this is not a pointless life, even the body is telling me so.

Sara Gruen

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Sara Gruen
Age: 56
Born: 1969
Born: January 1
Author
Novelist
Writer
Vancouver
British Columbia
Even
Life
Pointless
Convince
Telling
Body

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The only thing that makes me crazier than writing is not writing.
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I roll onto my side and stare out the venetian blinds at the blue sky beyond. After a few minutes I'm lulled into a sort of peace. The sky, the sky--same as it always was.
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Honey, I plan to marry you the moment the ink is dry on that death certificate.
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Do you have any idea how much an elephant drinks?
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With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.
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Although there are times I'd give anything to have her back, I'm glad she went first. Losing her was like being cleft down the middle. It was the moment it all ended for me, and I wouldn't have wanted her to go through that.
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I just can't. I'm married. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.
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He stares at me, and then leans back in his chair. He's ill, Jacob. I say nothing. He's a paragon schnitzophonic. He's what?! Paragon schnitzophonic, repeats Uncle Al. You mean paranoid schizophrenic? Sure. Whatever. But the bottom line is he's mad as a hatter.
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Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of.
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I scan the room. Catherine is writing quickly, her light brown hair falling over her face. She is left-handed, and because she writes in pencil her left arm is silver from wrist to elbow.
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When two people are meant to be together, they will be together. It's fate.
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You work hard on a book and throw it out there and then it's beyond your control.
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I tend not to think about the reading public at all, or the business, when I'm writing.
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I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I'm afraid to breathe in case I break the spell.
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How is it that everyone on this train has so much alcohol? We always head to Canada at the beginning of the season, she says taking her seat again. Their laws are much more civilized. Cheers.
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Even as your body betrays you, your mind denies it.
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Don't want to get tipsy and break a hip.
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Although, pretending not to notice is almost worse than noticing.
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Why the hell shouldn't I run away with the circus?
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Must protect my little pockets of happiness.
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