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I have to convince myself that this is not a pointless life, even the body is telling me so.

Sara Gruen

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Sara Gruen
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 1
Author
Novelist
Writer
Vancouver
British Columbia
Pointless
Convince
Telling
Body
Even
Life

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Keeping up the appearance of having all your marbles is hard work, but important.
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The thought has cheered me, and I'd like to hang onto that. Must protect my little pockets of happiness.
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I stare at her for a long moment. I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.
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Being the survivor stinks.
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Even as your body betrays you, your mind denies it.
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I just can't. I'm married. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.
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I am further back, surrounded on all sides by wailing men, their faces shiny with tears. Uncle Al promised three dollars and a bottle of Canadian whiskey to the man who puts on the best show. You've never seen such grief-- even the dogs were howling.
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Although, pretending not to notice is almost worse than noticing.
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With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.
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They grew fat and happy--the horses, not the children, or Marlena for that matter.
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I don't like outlining, because books are organic things. Sometimes a book doesn't want to be written in a certain way.
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Although there are times I'd give anything to have her back, I'm glad she went first. Losing her was like being cleft down the middle. It was the moment it all ended for me, and I wouldn't have wanted her to go through that.
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Honey, I plan to marry you the moment the ink is dry on that death certificate.
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I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I want.
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The only thing that makes me crazier than writing is not writing.
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I'm truly grateful for my microwave, which allows me to easily clarify butter, steam vegetables, and - when I am really lazy - feed my three kids in less than five minutes.
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I hate this bizarre policy of protective exclusion, because it effectively writes me off the page.
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Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of.
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