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It's as though I've been sleepwalking and suddenly woken to find myself here

Sara Gruen

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Sara Gruen
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 1
Author
Novelist
Writer
Vancouver
British Columbia
Though
Find
Sleepwalking
Woken
Suddenly

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Must protect my little pockets of happiness.
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Even as your body betrays you, your mind denies it.
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Honey, I plan to marry you the moment the ink is dry on that death certificate.
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I look after those who look after me. He smacks his lips, stares at me, and adds, I also look after those who don't. - Sara Gruen (Water for Elephants)
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I'm truly grateful for my microwave, which allows me to easily clarify butter, steam vegetables, and - when I am really lazy - feed my three kids in less than five minutes.
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Life is the most spectacular show on earth.
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Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of.
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I roll onto my side and stare out the venetian blinds at the blue sky beyond. After a few minutes I'm lulled into a sort of peace. The sky, the sky--same as it always was.
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But it all zipped by. One minute Marlena and I were up to our eyeballs, and the next thing we knew the kids were borrowing the car and fleeing the coop for college. And now, here I am. In my nineties and alone.
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With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.
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The only thing that makes me crazier than writing is not writing.
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I stare at her for a long moment. I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.
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I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I want.
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Being the survivor stinks.
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I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I'm afraid to breathe in case I break the spell.
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You do right by me, I'll show you a life most suckers can't even dream of.
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When two people are meant to be together, they will be together. It's fate.
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Why the hell shouldn't I run away with the circus?
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Then I lie down on the horse blanket and drift into a dream about Marlena that will probably cost me my soul.
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The thought has cheered me, and I'd like to hang onto that. Must protect my little pockets of happiness.
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