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It's as though I've been sleepwalking and suddenly woken to find myself here

Sara Gruen

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Sara Gruen
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 1
Author
Novelist
Writer
Vancouver
British Columbia
Sleepwalking
Woken
Suddenly
Though
Find

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With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.
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The only thing that makes me crazier than writing is not writing.
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I scan the room. Catherine is writing quickly, her light brown hair falling over her face. She is left-handed, and because she writes in pencil her left arm is silver from wrist to elbow.
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I'm truly grateful for my microwave, which allows me to easily clarify butter, steam vegetables, and - when I am really lazy - feed my three kids in less than five minutes.
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I look after those who look after me. He smacks his lips, stares at me, and adds, I also look after those who don't. - Sara Gruen (Water for Elephants)
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Honey, I plan to marry you the moment the ink is dry on that death certificate.
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They grew fat and happy--the horses, not the children, or Marlena for that matter.
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Must protect my little pockets of happiness.
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Keeping up the appearance of having all your marbles is hard work, but important.
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I have to convince myself that this is not a pointless life, even the body is telling me so.
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I hate this bizarre policy of protective exclusion, because it effectively writes me off the page.
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Then I lie down on the horse blanket and drift into a dream about Marlena that will probably cost me my soul.
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I roll onto my side and stare out the venetian blinds at the blue sky beyond. After a few minutes I'm lulled into a sort of peace. The sky, the sky--same as it always was.
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You work hard on a book and throw it out there and then it's beyond your control.
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Why the hell shouldn't I run away with the circus?
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Although there are times I'd give anything to have her back, I'm glad she went first. Losing her was like being cleft down the middle. It was the moment it all ended for me, and I wouldn't have wanted her to go through that.
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Even as your body betrays you, your mind denies it.
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Although, pretending not to notice is almost worse than noticing.
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Don't want to get tipsy and break a hip.
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I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I'm afraid to breathe in case I break the spell.
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