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It's as though I've been sleepwalking and suddenly woken to find myself here

Sara Gruen

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Sara Gruen
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 1
Author
Novelist
Writer
Vancouver
British Columbia
Woken
Suddenly
Though
Find
Sleepwalking

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I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I want.
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I just can't. I'm married. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.
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Honey, I plan to marry you the moment the ink is dry on that death certificate.
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I hate this bizarre policy of protective exclusion, because it effectively writes me off the page.
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I look after those who look after me. He smacks his lips, stares at me, and adds, I also look after those who don't. - Sara Gruen (Water for Elephants)
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Although there are times I'd give anything to have her back, I'm glad she went first. Losing her was like being cleft down the middle. It was the moment it all ended for me, and I wouldn't have wanted her to go through that.
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I tend not to think about the reading public at all, or the business, when I'm writing.
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Keeping up the appearance of having all your marbles is hard work, but important.
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Why the hell shouldn't I run away with the circus?
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I'm truly grateful for my microwave, which allows me to easily clarify butter, steam vegetables, and - when I am really lazy - feed my three kids in less than five minutes.
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I have to convince myself that this is not a pointless life, even the body is telling me so.
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Being the survivor stinks.
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Then I lie down on the horse blanket and drift into a dream about Marlena that will probably cost me my soul.
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I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I'm afraid to breathe in case I break the spell.
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How is it that everyone on this train has so much alcohol? We always head to Canada at the beginning of the season, she says taking her seat again. Their laws are much more civilized. Cheers.
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Life is the most spectacular show on earth.
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When two people are meant to be together, they will be together. It's fate.
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The thought has cheered me, and I'd like to hang onto that. Must protect my little pockets of happiness.
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I scan the room. Catherine is writing quickly, her light brown hair falling over her face. She is left-handed, and because she writes in pencil her left arm is silver from wrist to elbow.
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He stares at me, and then leans back in his chair. He's ill, Jacob. I say nothing. He's a paragon schnitzophonic. He's what?! Paragon schnitzophonic, repeats Uncle Al. You mean paranoid schizophrenic? Sure. Whatever. But the bottom line is he's mad as a hatter.
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