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Then I lie down on the horse blanket and drift into a dream about Marlena that will probably cost me my soul.

Sara Gruen

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Sara Gruen
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: January 1
Author
Novelist
Writer
Vancouver
British Columbia
Probably
Lying
Dream
Soul
Drift
Blanket
Horse
Cost

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But it all zipped by. One minute Marlena and I were up to our eyeballs, and the next thing we knew the kids were borrowing the car and fleeing the coop for college. And now, here I am. In my nineties and alone.
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I just can't. I'm married. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.
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He stares at me, and then leans back in his chair. He's ill, Jacob. I say nothing. He's a paragon schnitzophonic. He's what?! Paragon schnitzophonic, repeats Uncle Al. You mean paranoid schizophrenic? Sure. Whatever. But the bottom line is he's mad as a hatter.
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I have to convince myself that this is not a pointless life, even the body is telling me so.
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Even when I look straight into the milky blue eyes I can't find myself any more. When did I stop being me?
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I look after those who look after me. He smacks his lips, stares at me, and adds, I also look after those who don't. - Sara Gruen (Water for Elephants)
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With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.
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Although, pretending not to notice is almost worse than noticing.
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When two people are meant to be together, they will be together. It's fate.
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You work hard on a book and throw it out there and then it's beyond your control.
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Sometimes I think if I had to choose between an ear of corn or making love to a woman, I'd choose the corn.
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Although there are times I'd give anything to have her back, I'm glad she went first. Losing her was like being cleft down the middle. It was the moment it all ended for me, and I wouldn't have wanted her to go through that.
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Must protect my little pockets of happiness.
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I am further back, surrounded on all sides by wailing men, their faces shiny with tears. Uncle Al promised three dollars and a bottle of Canadian whiskey to the man who puts on the best show. You've never seen such grief-- even the dogs were howling.
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Life is the most spectacular show on earth.
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