living in Los Angeles was like being an extra in a movie that was starring other people entirely.

here are the top three global resources getting scarcer in the twenty-first century: ozone layer, rain forest, people eager to read the fiction of others. That's right, folks. For the first time in I believe written history, there are far more fiction writers on earth than fiction readers.

Parental anxieties: A timeline. Pre-1800s: Potato famine, death of entire villages. 1900s: Trying to keep dad's job through depression so entire family does not starve or have to sell off children to agribusiness. 2000: Infringement of Parenthood on sense of Personhood.

Panic is efficient. Panic is effective. Panic is the way I get things done! Panic attacks are my booster rockets!

All autobiography is fiction.