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The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.

Sandra Bernhard

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Sandra Bernhard
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: June 6
Comedian
Film Actor
Singer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Flint
Michigan
Going
Things
Haywire
Fumes
Killing
Wonder

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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
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I'm the only actress in Hollywood who didn't pay to have these lips.
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A remembrance can mean nothing to the one remembered it can only remind the ones left behind how little they did while you were still alive.
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When I was really little, I was skinny and people laughed at me for being skinny, so, we all pay our dues for the bodies we're in one way or another. But thank god I haven't needed to alter it to feel good about myself.
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I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.
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I'm not saying I'm some high priestess. I do things, I'm sure, that are damaging, but it's certainly not on purpose.
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Lots of people think that bisexual means cowardly lesbian.
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My family wasn't the Brady Bunch. They were the Broody Bunch.
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That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.
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At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are and doesn't need to be discussed anymore.
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Not everybody is cookie-cutter. You just can't be. There are too many variables in life.
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I hate to judge everybody across the board.
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I don't like going back and listening to myself. It makes me uncomfortable, and I know I can never emulate what I did that night, so why listen to it?
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Onstage, I'm still wearing my fabulous, sheer dresses because I'm not that big.
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I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.
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I think everybody is covering their [posteriors] with the Enron scandal and it was very convenient that Sept. 11 came along to deflect the fact that they should never have been in the White House in the first place. What happened in the election was completely corrupt.
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My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that's how I view the world.
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I definitely want to be with somebody who doesn't feel lost or in my shadow.
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I get happier every day. I have a sense of accomplishment every day of my life.
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I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of hope for humanity.
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