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The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.

Sandra Bernhard

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Sandra Bernhard
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: June 6
Comedian
Film Actor
Singer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Flint
Michigan
Things
Haywire
Fumes
Killing
Wonder
Going

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Lots of people think that bisexual means cowardly lesbian.
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I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, What do you want to be when you grow up? I said, A comedian. And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.
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If you want to dig, if you want to pry, do it on your time, but I'm going to be a woman of dignity.
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I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of hope for humanity.
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I am still comfortable with my body, because I'm like, What's not to be comfortable with? I mean, it's just my nature.
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I get happier every day. I have a sense of accomplishment every day of my life.
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I'm somebody who can absorb a lot.
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I don't think somebody can just, like, wave a magic wand and make you a star.
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When you're collaborating with somebody who's got a lot of stuff they haven't worked out yet, you're working out their vision as well.
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I love National Geographic. Just when you think you've seen the last lost native tribe, National Geographic will find a new one.
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I'm the only actress in Hollywood who didn't pay to have these lips.
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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
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I definitely want to be with somebody who doesn't feel lost or in my shadow.
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I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.
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... coming to a place like Nashville, which is just music music music, it's always been such an influence on me. And there are so many interesting songwriters out there, and it's such a crazy business and so many people are trying to do it, and it's all right there in Nashville.
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I would be dishonorable in a relationship because I wasn't getting what I wanted from that person.
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There's this whole sense of judgment and who's right and who's wrong and who's moral and who's going to be punished.
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I was looking for something within Judaism that had a spiritual nature and not just a religious nature. So my trainer at the time was the one who took me to the Kabbalah center on my 40th birthday. I was like, Oh, this is so cool. I was just ready for it. I was ready for something different.
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It's usually a spiritual thing that's preventing somebody from having happiness.
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When I was really little, I was skinny and people laughed at me for being skinny, so, we all pay our dues for the bodies we're in one way or another. But thank god I haven't needed to alter it to feel good about myself.
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