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I don't like going back and listening to myself. It makes me uncomfortable, and I know I can never emulate what I did that night, so why listen to it?

Sandra Bernhard

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Sandra Bernhard
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: June 6
Comedian
Film Actor
Singer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Flint
Michigan
Makes
Night
Back
Going
Never
Emulate
Like
Uncomfortable
Listening
Listen

More quotes by Sandra Bernhard

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I think everybody is covering their [posteriors] with the Enron scandal and it was very convenient that Sept. 11 came along to deflect the fact that they should never have been in the White House in the first place. What happened in the election was completely corrupt.
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That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.
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The live show is different from the album. It's different every night depending on where I am and how many months have gone by since I last performed.
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I try to avoid people's eyes because I don't like to get that intimate with just anybody. i don't need the responsibility.
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On one side you have book burners, Congressional wives and Pat Robertson. On the other side, you have vulgar comedians, foul-mouthed rap groups and Dennis Hopper—all your choices should be so easy.
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I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, What do you want to be when you grow up? I said, A comedian. And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.
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Madonnas got one big choice. Take a couple of years off and become a human being.
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At no time do I come from a cynical point of view. I'm coming from a concerned point of view.
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When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?
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How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?
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I was looking for something within Judaism that had a spiritual nature and not just a religious nature. So my trainer at the time was the one who took me to the Kabbalah center on my 40th birthday. I was like, Oh, this is so cool. I was just ready for it. I was ready for something different.
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They want families to come to New York and go to the theater, so the theater is all geared toward family entertainment. It's money, you know.
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Lots of people think that bisexual means cowardly lesbian.
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The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.
Sandra Bernhard
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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
Sandra Bernhard
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When I was really little, I was skinny and people laughed at me for being skinny, so, we all pay our dues for the bodies we're in one way or another. But thank god I haven't needed to alter it to feel good about myself.
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It's usually a spiritual thing that's preventing somebody from having happiness.
Sandra Bernhard
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I definitely want to be with somebody who doesn't feel lost or in my shadow.
Sandra Bernhard
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I get happier every day. I have a sense of accomplishment every day of my life.
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For most of my relationships, I would have liaisons, and I would feel guilty.
Sandra Bernhard