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I don't think somebody can just, like, wave a magic wand and make you a star.

Sandra Bernhard

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Sandra Bernhard
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: June 6
Comedian
Film Actor
Singer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Flint
Michigan
Star
Magic
Somebody
Stars
Make
Think
Wand
Thinking
Wands
Like
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More quotes by Sandra Bernhard

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I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, What do you want to be when you grow up? I said, A comedian. And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.
Sandra Bernhard
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I don't like going back and listening to myself. It makes me uncomfortable, and I know I can never emulate what I did that night, so why listen to it?
Sandra Bernhard
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Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place-they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again.
Sandra Bernhard
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The most important, overriding arc of my career has been that I would never be self-deprecating.
Sandra Bernhard
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When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?
Sandra Bernhard
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That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.
Sandra Bernhard
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It's usually a spiritual thing that's preventing somebody from having happiness.
Sandra Bernhard
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How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?
Sandra Bernhard
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... coming to a place like Nashville, which is just music music music, it's always been such an influence on me. And there are so many interesting songwriters out there, and it's such a crazy business and so many people are trying to do it, and it's all right there in Nashville.
Sandra Bernhard
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Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ.
Sandra Bernhard
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I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.
Sandra Bernhard
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The live show is different from the album. It's different every night depending on where I am and how many months have gone by since I last performed.
Sandra Bernhard
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They want families to come to New York and go to the theater, so the theater is all geared toward family entertainment. It's money, you know.
Sandra Bernhard
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I get happier every day. I have a sense of accomplishment every day of my life.
Sandra Bernhard
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When I was really little, I was skinny and people laughed at me for being skinny, so, we all pay our dues for the bodies we're in one way or another. But thank god I haven't needed to alter it to feel good about myself.
Sandra Bernhard
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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
Sandra Bernhard
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I'm the only actress in Hollywood who didn't pay to have these lips.
Sandra Bernhard
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At no time do I come from a cynical point of view. I'm coming from a concerned point of view.
Sandra Bernhard
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I tend to go against the grain because when I start to see that everybody's trying to shock, I try not to. I just do stuff that's subtler, more emotional, and I think that shocks people.
Sandra Bernhard
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I would never wanna do a show that's strictly maudlin and invaded my personal life and my home. I would never do that.
Sandra Bernhard