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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

Sandra Bernhard

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Sandra Bernhard
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: June 6
Comedian
Film Actor
Singer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Flint
Michigan
Consider
Performer
Performers
Tells
Comic
Jokes

More quotes by Sandra Bernhard

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I think there are always different times in your life when you go, Oh, god. I wish I were traditionally pretty. My life would be so much easier. But then you get through that, and you go, Well, I'm not.
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How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?
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At no time do I come from a cynical point of view. I'm coming from a concerned point of view.
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I am still comfortable with my body, because I'm like, What's not to be comfortable with? I mean, it's just my nature.
Sandra Bernhard
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I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, What do you want to be when you grow up? I said, A comedian. And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.
Sandra Bernhard
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Madonnas got one big choice. Take a couple of years off and become a human being.
Sandra Bernhard
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I think everybody is covering their [posteriors] with the Enron scandal and it was very convenient that Sept. 11 came along to deflect the fact that they should never have been in the White House in the first place. What happened in the election was completely corrupt.
Sandra Bernhard
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... coming to a place like Nashville, which is just music music music, it's always been such an influence on me. And there are so many interesting songwriters out there, and it's such a crazy business and so many people are trying to do it, and it's all right there in Nashville.
Sandra Bernhard
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Love is the only shocking act left on the face of the earth.
Sandra Bernhard
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That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.
Sandra Bernhard
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When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?
Sandra Bernhard
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I love National Geographic. Just when you think you've seen the last lost native tribe, National Geographic will find a new one.
Sandra Bernhard
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If you want to dig, if you want to pry, do it on your time, but I'm going to be a woman of dignity.
Sandra Bernhard
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If you come home to a household of chaos and anger and fear, you're not going to feel protected from the world.
Sandra Bernhard
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I don't think somebody can just, like, wave a magic wand and make you a star.
Sandra Bernhard
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My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that's how I view the world.
Sandra Bernhard
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The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.
Sandra Bernhard
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I hate to judge everybody across the board.
Sandra Bernhard
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As a kid, I loved being loved, and still do. Who doesn't love being loved?
Sandra Bernhard
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I would be dishonorable in a relationship because I wasn't getting what I wanted from that person.
Sandra Bernhard