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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

Sandra Bernhard

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Sandra Bernhard
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: June 6
Comedian
Film Actor
Singer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Flint
Michigan
Performer
Performers
Tells
Comic
Jokes
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More quotes by Sandra Bernhard

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I definitely want to be with somebody who doesn't feel lost or in my shadow.
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I would never wanna do a show that's strictly maudlin and invaded my personal life and my home. I would never do that.
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When you're collaborating with somebody who's got a lot of stuff they haven't worked out yet, you're working out their vision as well.
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I'm the only actress in Hollywood who didn't pay to have these lips.
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I'm not saying I'm some high priestess. I do things, I'm sure, that are damaging, but it's certainly not on purpose.
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I love National Geographic. Just when you think you've seen the last lost native tribe, National Geographic will find a new one.
Sandra Bernhard
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How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?
Sandra Bernhard
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For most of my relationships, I would have liaisons, and I would feel guilty.
Sandra Bernhard
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The live show is different from the album. It's different every night depending on where I am and how many months have gone by since I last performed.
Sandra Bernhard
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I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, What do you want to be when you grow up? I said, A comedian. And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.
Sandra Bernhard
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You can't just try to be a performer. It's in your DNA. I really believe that it's either what you are or it's not at all.
Sandra Bernhard
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The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.
Sandra Bernhard
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I hate to judge everybody across the board.
Sandra Bernhard
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I've always allowed myself to go on journeys creatively and emotionally, and never put, like, limits on myself.
Sandra Bernhard
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I don't want someone coming in and passing judgment on my life.
Sandra Bernhard
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Gayness is a non-issue.
Sandra Bernhard
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When I was really little, I was skinny and people laughed at me for being skinny, so, we all pay our dues for the bodies we're in one way or another. But thank god I haven't needed to alter it to feel good about myself.
Sandra Bernhard
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They want families to come to New York and go to the theater, so the theater is all geared toward family entertainment. It's money, you know.
Sandra Bernhard
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I think everybody is covering their [posteriors] with the Enron scandal and it was very convenient that Sept. 11 came along to deflect the fact that they should never have been in the White House in the first place. What happened in the election was completely corrupt.
Sandra Bernhard
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Kids need to be educated about sex and sexuality and if they're going to have sex, learn how to protect themselves and not get pregnant.
Sandra Bernhard