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I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.

Sam Levenson

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Sam Levenson
Age: 68 †
Born: 1911
Born: December 28
Died: 1980
Died: August 27
Humorist
Journalist
Writer
New York City
New York
Samuel Levenson
Taxes
Modern
Sure
Money
Gonna

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The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.
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Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is we'll find it.
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When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.
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Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.
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Times don't change. Men do.
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We may not always see eye to eye, but we can try to see heart to heart.
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The chaplain of the Senate does not pray for the Senate. He watches the Senate and prays for the country.
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Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.
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If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.
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I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!
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Learn from other people's mistakes. Life is too short to make them all yourself.
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It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
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Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.
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You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
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The Puritans came to America to worship in their way and to force everybody else to do the same thing.
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The whole world is watching America, and America is watching TV.
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People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed.
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Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
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When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?
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Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.
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